My college age daughter came home from school recently and announced that at school there are so few guys that truly love God and are trying to walk the walk.  She said, “I am just really picky I guess.” Of course, I chimed in and told her, “You had better be picky. God has someone for you and He does not expect you to settle for anything except the one He has chosen for you.”

Preacher daddy and I have prayed and tried to instill in our girls not to settle when the time comes and they are old enough to find a mate for life. God has someone for them. They do not need to date lots of different guys; they do not need to go hunting around for them.  If they pray and keep their spiritual eyes open God will bring the right person into their lives, just as He brought Rebekah to the well for Isaac. He cares who they marry, and He wants to be glorified in marriage.

So, what are the basic criteria to look for in a mate?  Why is my daughter so picky….because

He must be a Christian (2 Corinthians 6:14)

 He must be committed to biblical headship (Ehpesians 5:22-26)

He must welcome children (Psalms 127:3)

 He must be a protector (Nehemiah 4:13-14)

 He must be a provider (1 Timothy 5:8)

This past weekend I attended the True Woman conference.Voddie Baucham was our opening speaker.   His message was from his newly released book, What He Must Be if he wants to marry my daughter. He spoke much truth and reflected much of what Preacher daddy and I believe about the issue. 

I  would encourage you to pick up Voddie’s book; you read it and have your daughters and sons read it.  Let’s be in the habit of being picky about some things. 🙂

Here’s a description of the book from

All parents want their daughters to marry godly young men. But which qualities, specifically, should they be looking for?  What will you say when that certain young man sits down in your living room, sweaty-palmed and tongue-tied, and asks your permission to marry your daughter? What criteria should he meet before the two of them join together for life? What He Must Be: If He Wants to Marry My Daughter outlines ten qualities parents should look for in a son-in-law, including trustworthiness, a willingness to lead his family, an understanding of his wife’s role, and various spiritual leadership qualities. Author Voddie Baucham follows up on his popular book Family Driven Faith with this compelling apologetic of biblical manhood. By studying the principles outlined in his book, parents who want their daughter to marry a godly man as well as those who want their sons to become godly men will be well equipped to help their children look for and develop these God-honoring qualities.

I might add, what qualities will we be instilling into our sons so that they will BE the kind of godly young men other’s daughters should be looking for?