The habit of protecting

It’s out there.

You don’t have to look hard or long to find it.

Sometimes it finds you.

We’re living in a “brave new world”.  The Internet impacts people’s world view, perhaps more than any invention in modern times.  It is a fascinating place, full of interesting information.  As a gigantic virtual community, it has “good neighborhoods”, “questionable neighborhoods”, and some that can only be considered “bad neighborhoods”.

Not only are there places whose content is inappropriate for children, but there is a growing threat from “MalWare”; malicious software–including viruses– that can cause unending grief.  The authors of MalWare are no longer teenage “geeks” competing with each other to see who is the brightest.  MalWare is now used by organized crime to steal personal information for a variety of purposes, including theft and bank fraud.  MalWare can also turn unsuspecting households into platforms for devastating network attacks–attacks whose purpose is to deny service to a target by overwhelming its Internet connection with traffic from hundreds of computers.

How can we protect ourselves and our children from stumbling upon inappropriate content?

Many protection options are available, and several of the best are free.

When our two eldest children were old enough to use the computer, we quickly realized that simply having the family computer in an open area of the house wasn’t enough.  It was too easy to mistype a web address–one of the favorite techniques the bad guys use to “lure” people to their content–and instantly be in one of the “bad neighborhoods”.  We needed to be sure that when we weren’t watching over their shoulders that someone was monitoring what our children were doing online.  We needed a technological guardian to assist us.

 

habit of seeking balance and cleaning out little gods

The summer of  2008 I participated in a bible study which focused on the little gods we allow into our lives.  After this study I began not only to evaluate my own life, but I  also began to re-evaluating things I allow in my home and my childrens lives such as what they view, read, listen and participate. I think there has to be a balance in our lives when doing this. I don’t think my children should be so isolated  that they are ingnorant of the culture  in which they live.

The apostle Paul  had a good understanding of the false gods of his time; he was knowledgeable enough to go toe to toe with those who believed falsely. He was not unaware of their beliefs, but he was also saturated with God’s Word. Many times in our grasp to live a “good life” before God we tend to become out of balance, swinging either too far in one direction or the other.

Finding balance is sometimes a struggle. True balance can only be found in a relationship with God and the study of His Word.

One area I try to be cautious about with our children is to be careful not to make celebrities into idols. Something we felt convicted about early on was that we would not allow posters of celebrities on the walls of our home. To us it seemed the same as carving a graven image and exalting another human above the Lord. I want to make sure my children know more about our Lord than the lives of the current, popular group, star, or sports personality. Once again, balance for me is the key. It is not that they cannot enjoy certain music or personalities, but when they begin to focus on those things, above all else I believe an invisible line perhaps has been crossed.

I know I do the same thing in areas of my own life. It is a constant struggle to identify little gods. I have known many who make good things a god in their life. I have seen many a homeschooler fall into the trap of spending more time pouring over homeschool catalogs than the Word itself. It appears that homeshooling has become a little god in their life. I know I have been there.

There are others who pour their whole self into the raising of their children exalting them to a god status all the while worshiping the created instead of the creator. Jobs, sports, education all good things that can easily become a little god.

Perhaps that is why the first of the big 10 states, “You shall have no other Gods before me.”

I have definitely not arrived in these areas of my life, but I am constantly evaluating to take down the high places.

 

The Habit of Knowing you, Knowing your children and Knowing your family

I have to confess that the only routine in my house is the fact that we go to sleep every night, get up every morning and four or five days a week we “do” school between the time we wake up and go to bed ! You see I don’t see the fact that I do not have a scrict routine or a set schedule, etc (or I don’t want to see it) as being unsuccessful. I see it as just being me and a “strict routine” just isn’t for my family. I want to use this little post to encourage all moms to make sure you are NOT trying to do something that truly goes against who you are or who your family is. If you are like me and you have tried numerous schedule’s, chore charts, routine ideas and none of them seemed to work than can I go out on a limb and offer you a new idea. Here goes………………take a deep breath, a step back, tear down that chore chart that isn’t working, rip up that schedule that you haven’t been able to complete and stop looking at all those super mom websites that just make you feel so bad because all their wonderful ideas just do not work for you and your family.

 

mad sad glad

Mad sad glad is a little game we play at supper time once or twice a week. It’s a gem I learned from Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott’s Parenting the Early Years. And it’s not just for preschoolers.

It’s as the name says. You take turns as you go around the table and everyone shares what made them mad, sad and glad that day. Let’s face it. We all can think of something for each category – little ones, older children, even us adults. And it is always good to end with the glad.

Honestly, this helps us get beyond the sit down, chew with your mouth closed, lean over and eat your peas commands. The game also gets everyone talking, allowing us parents to help the children to work through some emotions we each face daily. Reflect on the day. We might even remember something we’d already dismissed in our minds.

Sometimes Daddy and I arbitrate the continuation of a sibling squabble. I’d rather handle it then, helping children to work out disagreements Biblically, than to allow something to go unsettled. Let not the sun go down upon your wrath. Ephesians 4:26 (The Brother Offended Checklist)

Sometimes the children ask to play mad sad glad as we are riding in the car or tucking in at bedtime. It’s a good opener for all kinds of discussion. Maybe there was something awful that happened in the news. As homeschoolers, fortunately, our children are somewhat sheltered from the world. But we want them to know the evils that exist. We want them to be in the world but not of the world. There will be failures. People will disappoint us. We want to educate them on how to handle something hard. Why does so and so happen? Well, ultimately because there is sin in this imperfect world. Yet we can find comfort in the fact that God has the whole world in His hands. And we know He wins in the end.

So, the mad sad glad game has served us well. It helps us to slow down and talk at suppertime. Gives us a chance to work through situations. I guess you’d say we’re building the habit of communication.

from the 2008 archives

 

Note to Self

I had something entirely different planned for today’s post, but as I sat down over the weekend to begin finalize my Thanksgiving planning, I uncovered a Thanksgiving-related habit that I wanted to share.

I believe this is the 6th year that we have hosted our family’s Thanksgiving celebration. Each year about this time, I start making lists. Guest lists. Menu lists. Grocery lists. To-do lists. And so on. And every year I find myself straining my already-strained brain trying to remember last Thanksgiving and what worked and what didn’t.

This year started out a bit different for me because I found the Thanksgiving planning list that I made last year on the computer. In five minutes, without any brain-strain whatsoever, I was able to review and update what we did last year from what we ate to the centerpieces on the table to which bowls/platters/pots & pans I used to prepare and serve each item. I had also included a few notes to my future self, like “filling for 6 pumpkin pies will just barely fit in the big yellow bowl.” An extremely helpful little tidbit, as that is one of the things I am always trying to re-remember.

I was so excited to find the treasure of last year’s planning, that I decided to add to it this year. I typed up the menu, the shopping list and the guest list. During the preparing phase I’ll be adding more notes about what works and what doesn’t. After Thanksgiving I will add details about leftovers and anything that didn’t go quite far enough.  So next year I will be able to look at the number of people we had and say, “Hmmm, 5 pounds of potatoes didn’t go quite far enough for 18 people, so this year I should get the bigger bag,” or maybe, “whoa, I threw away a whole bowl of cranberry sauce last year – I should halve that recipe.”

If you don’t do something like this already, I highly encourage you to pick up this habit this year. It won’t make a huge difference in this year’s preparations, but next Thanksgiving will be a breeze.

 

What’s for dinner? Part 3 -preparing

Taste and see the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him. Psalm 34:8

You’ve planned your meals and you’ve purchased the food, now unfortunately that food is not going to get out the pantry and cook itself, so you’d better get to it!

Sometimes it feels like I spend the bulk of my time in the kitchen – either cooking or cleaning up (the rest is spent in the laundry room! )  So, if there is a way to streamline my cooking duties, I am all for it. I actually love to cook -it’s everything that goes with it that I could live without!  With a busy family, I don’t want to spend all of my time in the kitchen, so I’ve been working on ways to cut down on time spent there.  Here are a few things I’m trying – PLEASE share your tips as well.  As you will see, I’m only scratching the surface of all the possibilities.

 

The Habit of Remaining Calm

Calm-

make calm or still; 

steady: make steady; “steady yourself”

become quiet or calm,

composure: steadiness of mind under stress;

not agitated; without losing self-possession;

sedate: cause to be calm or quiet 

Wow, that sounds like the total opposite of who I am but my heart is to be this way when it is needed, when it would be best!! I am a very excitable, passionate and lets face it loud person! I believe this is how God made me to be BUT I do believe that there are times that even a passionately loud person needs to be calm, steady and quite. The Lord stirred me to write about this subject. You have to understand though that I desire to be this way but I haven’t gotten to the place where it is habit, yet!!

 

Papers, stacks and hole punches

I’m so glad Kendra gave us permission to discuss emerging habits in her A Morning Routine part three. Especially since Kerri caught me in a pile of stacks when she requested I write about our filing Fridays.

You see, several weeks ago I bragged about the addition of a new, three-hole punch to our classroom. The puncher we started schooling with finally gave out and was only punching two holes. I was so happy to have a working three-hole punch that the children and I were getting caught up on the piles of paper. “It’s filing Friday!” I shared on facebook. Punch, crunch, punch. “Can I have a turn now, mama?”

Paper clutter. When life gets busy, mom gets sidetracked and habits are neglected, paper stacks grow. Even when we stay on top of paper clutter, the piles seem to take over. We all handle paper every day. Mail, flyers tucked on the car windshield, school papers, magazines, bills and more. We just have to make a habit of how we handle all that paper.

I must confess, I am a true stacker my nature. But in my stacks I’ve found a system. The ultimate goal being to hole-punch and file papers in a binder as soon as schoolwork is done. For now we do it on (most) Fridays.

This is our current paper flow habit.

 

A Morning Routine part three

Hubby has been sent off to work with a warm breakfast, the dishwasher is unloaded, the coffee is brewed. The next step in my morning is personal quiet time. I’ve already discussed that in detail in an earlier post, so I’ll move on to the final step. This one, honestly, is the most difficult for me. I’m much more likely to skip right over this one than any of the others.

For those of you that know me personally, this may be hard to guess, but I am a bit of a tomboy. I don’t really like to shop, I don’t get goo-goo eyes at a new pair of shoes, and I am not usually current on the latest fashion. This is probably one of the reasons God blessed me with all boys. We’re a good match. I have a hard time seeing the point of spending half my morning standing in front of the mirror primping. If I’m going to be cleaning toilets and wiping bottoms all day, does it really matter what I look like?

But the truth is, it really does. When I send hubby out into the world, he is spending the whole day with women who are dressed in nice clothes, their hair is styled, make up is on, and I’m willing to bet they don’t smell like the Diaper Genie.  Now I am in no way excusing workplace affairs, or affairs of any kind for that matter. All I’m saying is, I don’t need to make it so tempting for him!

Again, to be honest, I don’t fit this into my morning routine every day. Probably 3 days out of the work week I am in the bathroom with the make up and hair supplies toward the end of the little one’s afternoon nap. But I am working on it. My incentive for this one, like the coffee reward at the end of unloading the dishwasher, is to put off any time on the computer until after I’ve made myself presentable. I haven’t taken that step yet, but I know that as soon as I commit to that I won’t ever miss that step again

 

preparing them for life.

I was thinking this morning about raising children. I have to admit when I pause to think about the responsibility it can be overwhelming. I think sometimes we lose our focus and educate them for the goal of getting into a good college. When in reality we should be educating them for more than that. We should be educating them for life. College is just a small portion of life. I am not downplaying the importance for some of getting a degree. In some fields of study it is absolutely necessary.

In reality we only have a few short years to prepare our children for life. There are so many important things we should teach them. Other than those that should be obvious to a believer, I am going to share two that I think many young adults are lacking today. One is delayed gratification and the other is a strong work ethic.

We are a country of emotional, instant gratification decision makers. We see this in the amount of debt most Americans have piled up. We cannot save for what we want. We have to have it now. We deserve a vacation even though we can’t afford one. We need a flat screen TV, we need …we need… get the picture. It is hard for us to teach our children to save and wait for something when they see us pull out the credit card. I am sure you have learned by now that the item you just had to have, after purchased just isn’t as great as you thought it would be. Then you are off to buy something else that will make you happy. I get caught in this too. It is easy to be entangled in the world.

Last summer my son worked with his dad mowing lawns. All summer he saved his money. At the end of the summer he purchased what he had been saving for a brand new name brand pair of Heelies. He put them on and skated around. He thought they were great for about six hours. Then he said, “I wish I hadn’t bought these. That was a lot of money for a pair of shoes. They are not as great as I thought they were going to be”. I hated that he felt that way about something he had worked all summer for, but you know he learned a great lesson that day that he will not soon forget. Material things are never as good as you think they will be.

I am proud of him for working for the shoes and saving all summer. Many young adults are just lazy. I wonder sometimes if it is because they are so addicted to screens. TV, computer, play station etc. There seems to be no pride in hard work. It is more like lets see how little work I can do and still get paid or pass this or that class. We need to teach our children to work and work hard. Work was not the curse in the garden. There was work before the curse. Let you children work at home. Make them help around the house. That is part of being a family, everyone doing his part to keep the house running smoothly.

These are two areas I am working on with my children. I so want to prepare them for life. To be all that God has for them and not to get caught in worldly traps that might take years to overcome.

first published… August 7, 2007 by littlesanctuary