Precious Memories

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May 17.

It is 6 months since that terrible night, when I got the call that my daughter had been critically injured while out viewing the stars on a train trestle with 4 friends.
Sometimes when I look at her, I am breathless, hardly comprehending that she is still here with me after what she’s been through. She is a miracle, a gift twice-given.

Tonight, as I listened to the strumming of her guitar drifting from her room, I sat on my bed with my youngest, knocking out a chapter from our latest read-together book. Eventually, my middle girl returned from her ballet lesson, flushed, exhausted, and hungry.  She cuddled up on the bed beside me and we talked about her next rehearsal schedule.  In and out of my room, they were, all evening– chattering, giggling, cuddling.

I have been given a gift.  The gift of knowing, almost, what it would be like to lose one of my children, yet sitting here in my home six months later, with all of them present. These precious days… I am so thankful for them, so happy to have all of my children healthy and whole. Continue reading »

ARE YOU A PEEPER/CHIRPER OR A HISSER/GROWLER?

I love the warmer days of spring that melt into the hot days of summer. When I walk my Chihuahua in the morning quiet of my backyard (after the school buses have run and the noisy neighbors have retreated to the confines of their homes), I enjoy the blooming snowball bush that was my mother’s and all of the other beautiful flowers in the yard and green leaves on the trees.

When I stand out in the quiet, I notice it’s not so quiet after all. Image

The birds chirp and whistle and tweet and sing beautiful (almost deafening) melodies as they compete for God’s ear. One sounds like a cat and another sounds like a cell phone. (I really do call that one the cell phone bird). The squirrels chatter and bugs make all kinds of humming noises. Makes me want to stay outside forever—until it gets hot, at least.

But what about the kinds of creatures that don’t chirp and hum? What about the ones that hiss and growl? Now I must admit I am fascinated with aligators and I love to watch the show Swamp People. But I would not really want to be face to face with a gator.

One morning this spring, I saw a bird flying away with a snake. Image

(No, it wasn’t a Cobra.) But the chills ran down my spine just the same at the sight of that. And then I thanked the bird for carrying off that slithering creature. He was not welcome in my yard. I didn’t want to go back outside for the rest of the day.

Walking my neighborhood or just the simple act of getting the mail can be challenging sometimes because of the loose dogs that run around. All I have to hear is one itty bitty beginning of a growl and I’m straight for the door and into the safety of my house. The last thing I want is to be on the 6:00 pm news in my stretchy pants with no makeup on because I got mauled by a pit bull.

Have you noticed that in nature—for the most part—the things that chirp and peep and make light humming noises are usually harmless? And the things that hiss and growl and buzz loudly are not so harmless. Some things only make those noises because they feel defensive but most of them could tear you up, eat you to pieces, or scratch your eyes out if the mood struck. Many of them, like my snake enemy, very well could end your life.

So are you a chirper/peeper or a hisser/growler? Image

I’ll confess, in the morning, I’m usually a growler. I have been known to hiss at people before I’ve had my coffee. But I am trying to get into the habit of being a chirper/peeper all day…even in the mornings. I don’t want to gain the reputation for being the kind of person that could cause your fur to fly.

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Psalm 100:1-2 says: Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands. Serve the Lord with gladness: come before his presence with singing.

I think that’s a good habit to get into especially this time of year. If we practice chirping and peeping and spreading joy to all of those around us, maybe by daylight savings time when we start having shorter days and lose some of our beloved sunshine, we’ll be new creatures!

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10 Ideas for Summer Fun

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Have you broken in your flip flops yet? Made s’mores? Caught some lightning bugs? Well, this list of summer fun ideas is sure to get you going or wear through your flip flops even more. A few from our archives and some new summer sunshine as well…

Top Ten Tuesday at Many Little Blessings
HOTM ButtonHeart of the Matter Slice of Summer Link Up

What fun do you have planned?

Resources for Moral Living

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Today I share with you some of the resources I turn to often:

Plus a new resource we just recently discovered:


You might also be interested in my series, here at Habits:

  • The Habit of Moral Living, Part IThe founders of our nation believed in a moral code of conduct. Whatever their personal beliefs–whether Christian, Unitarian, or Deist–the moral code by which they conducted themselves was based in the Christian Bible. In the general principles of Christianity can be found the underpinnings of our republic.
  • The Habit of Moral Living, Part 2The “solid foundation of morals” is the Christian faith.  It is a faith of absolutes.  We can know what is right and what is wrong.  The truths expressed in the bible are unassailable.  The republic formed using biblical Christianity as a foundation has endured over 230 years.  Liberty was achieved.
  • The Habit of Moral Living, Part 3What happens when people reject God–the moral foundation of their society?  Benjamin Franklin said that as nations become more corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters.  The apostle Paul, speaking to the church at Rome, spoke of those who rejected God and the consequences of that rejection.
  • The Habit of Moral Living, Part 4Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other. –John Adams, October 11, 1798What happens to people who reject God?  For He is the very moral underpinning of a civil society.  Without Him, the republic cannot subsist any length of time.
  • The Habit of Moral Living, Part 5 - The Apostle Paul expands upon his essay about those with “defective thinking” in the book of Galatians.  In chapter 5, he provides a list of behaviors produced by the selfish motives of the defective thinker.

What are your favorite resources?

around the web…

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I have been blogging around the web posts on my personal blog for a few years, and thought I might also share some of my finds here at Habits.

Five misdiagnosed symptoms | The Cripplegate

In the Emergency Room, decisions of life and death are regularly made with extreme pressure and very limited information. Symptoms present themselves and a trained, discerning mind diagnoses the real issue. Get it right and the treatment plan takes over. Get it wrong and not even the best treatment plan is able to fully help.

But what about diagnosing spiritual problems? Only God is omniscient and has a full, uninfluenced view of the human heart (1 Samuel 16:7). As believers, our discernment must be driven by the insights and fruit Scripture directs us toward as His Word exposes and corrects issues of the heart (Matthew 7:20; Hebrews 4:12-13). Many more could be added, but here are five symptoms that are commonly misdiagnosed by pastors: Continue reading »

A New Season is an Opportunity…

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to be conformed more and more into the image of CHRIST!!

There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—

A new season may bring beauty, joy, and all kinds of wonders that our flesh and even our spirit enjoys, but it can also bring physical, emotional and spiritually sickness, pain,  grief, loss,  sorrow, and all sorts of other difficulties. Yet, it is through these trials that we can grow in dependence, in trust, in love, in grace, in mercy,  and it is in these times that we grow to maturity.

Embrace a new season with its trials, because when you do, you actually embrace HIM and HIS work in you. When we embrace, we actually submit, and when we submit, we gain all that HE plans for us to have. In essence we gain our victory in and through HIM. Our victory means that we have been conformed more and more into the image of CHRIST!!

Romans: 5:1Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, wea have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2Through him we have also obtained access by faithb into this grace in which we stand, and wec rejoiced in hope of the glory of God. 3More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

James 1:2Count it all joy, my brothers,b when you meet trials of various kinds, 3for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Ecclesiastes 3 ….. A Time for Everything
1There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—
2A time to give birth and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted. 3A time to kill and a time to heal; A time to tear down and a time to build up. 4A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance. 5A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing. 6A time to search and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep and a time to throw away. 7A time to tear apart and a time to sew together; A time to be silent and a time to speak. 8A time to love and a time to hate;  A time for war and a time for peace. 9What profit is there to the worker from that in which he toils? 10I have seen the task which God has given the sons of men with which to occupy themselves.
God Set Eternity in the Heart of Man…..11He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end. 12I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one’s lifetime; 13moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor—it is the gift of God. 14I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him. 15That which is has been already and that which will be has already been, for God seeks what has passed by.

… with all your heart and with all your SOUL…

There is a new app. I downloaded for my iPhone that is awesome! It is called “FighterVerse”. It is an app that helps you memorize scripture. There are quizzes and “fill-in the blanks” that helps you memorize weekly scripture. And it really works! A couple of weeks ago the verse was Deuteronomy 6:4-5. I have read this scripture or heard it at least 50 times, but as I was memorizing it God began to convict me of one little phrase, “Hear O Isreal, the Lord our God; the Lord our God is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.” 

As a mom, my soul gets pretty neglected. From sun up or from “son up” to “son down”, there is not much time to tend to my soul AND getting everything else accomplished. I can whine and play the martyr card all day but ultimately my soul is my responsibility. And the bottom line is, I am commanded to love God with all my soul. If our soul is neglected and we are in the survival mom mode (that mode where laundry, groceries, chores, children are all we think about), we are at a disadvantage to “love the Lord with all our soul”.

These are some simple practical steps I thought of to tend to our soul:

-take a walk

-put on make up and do your hair

-take a bubble bath

- paint, draw, sing, dance…. spend time cultivating your gifts

- play! Go to one of those jumpy places and play just as hard as your kids!

- rest … take a nap!

- treat yourself to some coffee or sweet tea

- read a book

- I read a fantastic blog the other day that mentioned cleaning as tending to the soul. (This may not be so for some but I know I can not even begin to think on the Lord if my house is a disaster. ) In the response to the old adage to forget the laundry and play with your kids she responded, “We’re so wrapped up with encouraging mothers to love their children and delight in them (which we should do appropriately) that we neglect THE WOMAN’S SOUL. Ladies you have souls, you belong to Jesus, not to your children. ” [GospelGrace.com]http://www.gospelgrace.net/2012/05/04/you-do-not-belong-to-your-children-you-belong-to-christ/

She is right! Our souls do belong to Christ and it is our responsibility to take better care! I am so very bad about this. I get so focused on God has told me to do or a task at hand that I forget all about my relationship with the living God of this Universe. He created us for more than works and tasks. He created us for a relationship with Him. We must take better care of that place made just for Him to dwell, our inner man, our soul!

Happy Mother’s Day! May you find a way to make some space for your Creator and enjoy some time with Him!

Surviving Life with Boys: Managing the Dirt

boy, n. a noise with dirt on it

The first time I saw that quote was in an Uppercase Living catalog a few years ago. Then it cropped up on Pinterest and just last week I saw it on Facebook. Isn’t it so true? Buried somewhere beneath the noise and dirt lies an endless supply of hugs and love and sweetness. But if I am ever going to uncover all that sweetness, I need to find a way to live with the rest of what makes up a boy. Or four boys.

Any of these things could be just as useful in a house full of girls. Several children = chaos, no matter what the gender ratio. I just think that with boys, the chaos is magnified a bit.

Managing the Toys. This was our home, all day, every day just a few months ago: “Whose Legos are these? Please pick up the Legos.” 15 minutes later the Legos are still there. “Didn’t I say pick up the Legos??” 3 hours later, “PICK UP THE BLASTED LEGOS!!!” At bedtime, I’m picking up Legos and muttering to myself about how irresponsible my boys are. NO MORE. Now, we have a box we call the treasure chest. It is in the living room where I find the majority of the forgotten messes.  If I see something lying around, I ask that it be put away one time. If it is still there in 10 minutes, I put it in the treasure chest. Anything left out at bedtime goes in the chest. If they want it back, they have to do a chore for me. Washing windows, dusting, wiping baseboards… whatever I may see that needs doing. And there is plenty that needs doing at our house. I think it would be brilliant to have a big clear container to use for this, like maybe one of those giant cheese puff containers from Sam’s Club. That way all the treasures are easy to see and tempting to get back.

The doing chores for me idea is working so well that I’m starting to find other ways to use it. If they do one of their chores halfway, or forget to do it, I’ll do it. And then they can do one of my chores. To do this well, I think I need a ready list of jobs that need to be done.

Managing the Laundry. A while back I wrote about our laundry system. It has worked very well for us until recently. My bedroom is the only place in our house that is big enough for laundry folding. When the pile of laundry became so big that my queen size bed couldn’t hold it all, I decided it was time to move on to phase two. My oldest two (9 and 11) are doing their own laundry now. One of them is the type that will wear 3 shirts in one day and put them all in the laundry, dirty or not. The other is the type that will wear the same shirt for 3 days and call it clean. Both were driving me crazy! I decided to stop trying to change them and let them handle their own clothing habits. After a few days of basic washing instruction, they were able to handle it completely on their own. There are 3 rules. They only get to wash on Tuesdays and Fridays (the days I don’t wash). They must put the clothes away on the day they were washed. They must have something clean, decent, and unwrinkled to wear to church. Now I know very well that if I went to their room right now I would find inside-out shirts hanging on hangars, drawers not organized, clothes not folded. But this is where I have to pick my battles, be grateful that the shirts are hung up at all, and not venture in their room too often. My 5 year old is still sorting his own laundry for me to wash on my laundry days. Then I fold, and he puts them away.

Managing the Bathroom.  They are responsible for tidying up their bathroom every night. I keep a tub of baby wipes in the cabinet for them to use. The boy assigned to the job that day starts by wiping the faucet, then the counter and sink, then the toilet handle, then the toilet seat and rim. Then the wipe goes in the trash. Now, I know very well that their bathroom is not Martha Stewart clean after that. And I do clean it thoroughly now and then. But it is clean enough that when I do clean it, I don’t have to wear a gas mask. And if the occasion arises that I (or a guest) have to use that bathroom, it is tolerable.

Next month I’ll post about how we manage the noise.

Homeschool Graduation Success

I read an article in the Atlanta Journal and Constitution on April15, 2012 that disturbed me. It was about the graduation rate for the State of Georgia. It appears there is a new method of calculating graduation rates and it tells us that more kids are dropping out of high school than the state thought. The state’s new formula shows the graduation rate at 67.4 percent instead of the former 80.9 percent.

From the AJC: “The rate is considered a key barometer of educational progress — so much so that schools use their graduation rates to prove they made Adequate Yearly Progress, the benchmark of success under the federal No Child Left Behind Act. Businesses eye the rates when choosing where to locate. Even as the state escapes the mandates of No Child Left Behind, graduation rates will still be used to measure success in Georgia. Precisely how much weight will be given is still to be determined.”

The numbers show that the 57 Georgia high schools graduated less than half of their students! No wonder people are flocking to homeschooling every year. Here’s the kicker: we don’t have more dropouts. Schools have been covering up the truth when reporting their numbers. Yes, that’s what I said. Students who dropped out were reported as transfers even though they did not leave one school for another.

Another problem the article exposed is that many kids are taking longer than five years to graduate high school. Even when it takes a student five or six years to complete high school, the schools are allowed to count them as the same type of graduate as students who completed in the standard four years. Yet the ones who completed in a timely manner received no further accolades. The thought behind this is that it shouldn’t matter how long it takes as long as they eventually finish.

It was reported that students who attended rigorous high schools had a better acceptance into college. But what about the students who are dropping out or taking longer to finish? They obviously would not be able to handle a rigorous workload. What is going on with our public education that students are having such a hard time graduating?

They continue to raise the academic standards but I have to wonder why they would do this if so many are not graduating. Won’t this cause the graduating rate to plummet even further? It seems if the standards are raised even higher without addressing the issue of why kids can’t graduate, it sets more students up for failure. Parents of these students are undoubtedly worried.

What is hard to understand is how these students (middle and high school particularly) sit in a classroom all day and then come home with four or five hours of homework a night and then they still can’t seem to grasp the information enough to pass the classes and move on to graduation. What happens in the classroom all day? This tells me that something isn’t working with the system.

According to Dr. Jay Wyle in his report Why Homeschool for High School, he states that “only 33% of high school graduates are proficient readers. Slightly more than 25% are functionally illiterate. 63% of high school seniors could not point to Russia on a world map. 72% of high school seniors could not distinguish between an atom and a molecule.” http://www.drwile.com/why_high.pdf

If these numbers are accurate (and I am sure they are and may even be higher now), it is no wonder the dropout rate is so high and no wonder it’s taking so long to finish school.

There are many reasons for the dropout rate. Besides being illiterate and the poor teacher to student ratio, kids have to deal with being bullied and living in fear of attacks by other students carrying weapons to school. For many students, school has nothing to do with learning. It’s all about socializing, which often leads students down the wrong road with the wrong bunch of friends.

One problem with the graduation requirements is that it takes 23 credits to graduate, so if a student fails a class or has to drop a class for any reason, he will automatically be behind his peers since it takes four full years to earn 23 credits. Georgia students can stay in school for free until age 20 so some may not be in such a hurry to graduate. When a student begins to fail, the desire to finish often flies out the window. They see no chance of ever catching up so they quit.

Many go on to earn their GEDs and head to technical school to get their starts but it is sad that they aren’t able to complete the normal four year high school educational program.

Thankfully, the new formula will not allow dropouts to be listed as transfers any longer. Schools will have to verify that a student has left and if he transfers to another school he will be counted. A file is kept on every child who enters the school system and it should make it much easier to determine where that child is until the compulsory age of 16.

Personally, I think part of the problem with the current educational system is that it approaches students as a whole and not as individuals. Not everyone is cut out to be a 4.0 student who goes on to earn higher and higher level degrees. We have a world full of artisans who, if given the right opportunity, will live a full life, earn a living, and make the world much more enjoyable for everyone else.

When we homeschool our children, we can stay on top of their education and also be there for them when they have issues. Some of the public school parents said they want the schools to find better ways of reaching out to kids. Since children learn in the different ways, this can be a difficult task. But I would wager it is not impossible. Perhaps one way to solve the problem would be to evaluate each student’s learning style and then place them in a classroom with other students who learn in the same way. Maybe the public schools could model homeschools and this would improve the educational system. But until that happens, lend a hand to your public school friends if they ask you for advice on how to help their children achieve graduation.

http://www.ajc.com/news/painful-truth-in-grad-1416923.html

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When You Want to Scream – Just Sing

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Part Two of The Habit of Hymns

We all have those moments. The overwhelming, frustrating time of wanting to yell or scream at the top of our lungs. Well, I’ve found one way of diverting the irritating. When you want to scream, just sing. Turn it to praise!

A recent example? You know those packing peanuts – the ones that cushion important mail deliveries? Well, one creative child spread them far and wide in the most quiet way ever. When I happened upon the pink packing peanut perfection I truly wanted to scream. But, suddenly, this hymn popped in my head:

Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow! Praise Him All Creatures Here Below…Praise Him Above Ye Heavenly Host. Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Amen!!

Here are a few more to sing out:

  • “God bless America! Land that I love!”
  • “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus; There’s just something about that name! Master, Savior, Jesus, Like the fragrance after the rain…”
  • “O the King is coming, the King is coming! I just heard the trumpets sounding, And now His face I see…”

And do you know what happened? The frustration turned to LAUGHTER! We all dissolved into silly laughter. And it was so good.

…in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

“Come on, let’s clean this up,” I was able to say in a calm voice. And it truly didn’t take long to get all those peanuts rounded up in the trash.

The time it took to turn that frustration into song? Less time than the clean up.

How about you? Do you burst into song over pink peanut perfection?

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